Sunday, 6 June 2010

~The Character Traits of a "Good Friend"! :-)

Do you have friends? Who are your friends??

How does one really get to know if a person should be classified as a friend? Who is a good friend? Who is a bad friend? These are questions that would often flood the mind of an individual who is out for the best in any friendship or relationship.

If you are familiar with any of the set of questions outlined above, I'm sure you'd agree with me that choosing and keeping the right friends can sometimes be a very tedious job to do.

Anywayz, here's some useful tips I got to figure out. It could help you know who exactly to call a Good Friend, or which kind of friendship or relationship you should keep away from. Yeah, it's a kinda long one, but please read to the me, you will not regret the fact that you did! I really learned a lot from it!! :-)

The Character Traits of a Good Friend (Culled From

Some may not realize that the traits of a good friend relate to the character of one’s mate, but a little reflection shows why this must be so. The breaking of the marriage covenant is a sin against a companion, a close and intimate friend.

That leaves the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God (Prov 2:17).

The term rendered “companion” here is used elsewhere (Prov 16:28; 17:9; Ps.55:13) for the closest of friends. If my mate is not a friend, what is she? And yet some have foolishly chosen to marry one who fails to qualify even as a friend. 

Here's a brief summary of the qualities of a good friend, drawn mostly from the book of Proverbs:


Fair weather friends are numerous, and Proverbs mentions these (Prov 14:20; 19:4,6,7). But a true friend is a person  who is still there even when the going gets tough.

A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity (Prov 17:17).

A man of many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov 18:24).

Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away (Prov 27:10).


There are things which may need to be said to a friend that are not easy to say. I am disappointed by the sentimentalism that pervades our friendships so that we flatter our friends when we need to frankly rebuke them. A true friend is the one who is honest enough to tell us what we need to hear, rather than to flatter us.

A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps (Prov 29:5).

Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy (Prov 27:5-6).

Why is it, then, that we seem to think that a wife should never criticize her husband? Is it not better to be corrected by our closest friend than by an enemy? Sometimes the kindest thing a wife can do for her husband is to tell him that his idea is absolutely ridiculous--in a gracious way, of course.


A good friend is sensitive to our needs and speaks in such a way that we are encouraged and enriched. His sensitivity is demonstrated in his understanding that gaiety and goodwill is not always appropriate nor appreciated. “It matters not only ‘what’ we say, but ‘how,’ ‘when’ and ‘why’ we say it.”

Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart (Prov 25:20).

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him (Prov 27:14).


Not only do we need to be criticized when necessary, but sometimes we need to be probed or stretched in our thinking. A good friend does not allow us to become intellectually stagnant, but prods us on to higher and greater thoughts.

Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another (Prov 27:17).

A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out (Prov 20:5).

Isn’t this true to life? Don’t you seek to develop friendships with those who will challenge your thinking and present you with new avenues of thought? Why should one of these friends not be your mate?


Those whom we choose as friends should be marked by wisdom and thus have godly counsel to offer.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend (Prov 27:9).

Think back for a moment to the account of David, Nabal, and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25. David was angered because of the ungracious words of Nabal to his young men. He was determined to wipe out every male in the house of Nabal (1 Sam 25:13,34). Abigail quickly formulated a plan to appease David’s anger and then spoke words of wise counsel, pointing out how detrimental David’s actions would be to his future rule as king (1 Sam 25:28-31). David’s reply indicates his appreciation of the wisdom of her words:

Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed, and from avenging myself by my own hand” (1 Sam. 25:32-33).

I would simply point out that David was indeed wise to marry a woman who could offer such wise counsel. And we would do well to marry one who offers wise counsel as well. Why is it, then, that husbands seem to think that the biblical instruction concerning the submission of the wife to her husband precludes her offering him wise counsel, if offered tactfully and in a submissive spirit? Let us learn from David and Abigail.

And that's all from me for now!!! 

No comments:

Post a Comment